Monday, January 18, 2010

Resolute.

Recently a friend of mine told me that I always made more resolutions than anyone else she knew, and that she loved that about me.

Up until this point, I've not really made a ton of new, specific resolutions. I usually go into the new year acknowledging it as a fresh start, excited for the new things it will bring. This time around, I was just so happy to say goodbye to 2009 and its expectations that it's been hard to let myself put new ones on 2010. Last year was one of the craziest, hardest, most exhausting years I've been through.

I think this is evidenced by my complete lack of blog presence. Not that I should offer excuses for why I disappeared from the blogosphere, but I just couldn't bring myself to pour my heart into a medium that becomes an external display of its inner workings. Maybe I wasn't willing to see what what was really going on in my heart. But mostly, I think I struggled to even find the words to describe the persistent dull ache in my chest.

I made a pact with my roommate this past fall that Monday nights would be dedicated to writing at Remedy, and I was only semi-successful at that, but it was a step in the right direction. So maybe my 2010 resolution shouldn't be some grand sweeping, life-altering goal, but simply to meet the one I already made.

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